Monday April 3

I almost forgot about God. Almost is self charity. I forgot and the remembrance feels almost worse than not knowing. The realization that I’ve wasted so much time.

These are the glasses I used to wear. They became lost at least a year ago and in place of them I bought a pair of cheap blue light blocking glasses just to have something to wear. Realistically they served no true purpose, though I’d imagine the light filter proved helpful at times. These glasses were simulacrum. Would you say, as Baudrillard does, that this false image is diabolical? What about my comfort? What about the false reality I exert to provide myself some ease? I have been looking for a locket because the precious one I wore once is missing. In fact, I’ve been looking at the antique mall I bought it at looking just for another necklace as special. I’ve typed in Vintage Gold Heart on eBay and scrolled scrolled scrolled, secretly looking for the exact same one. I know I will never find it.