From Lockdown

4/13/2020

I don’t have anything to say. I’ve been working on grounding but I don’t know how well I’m doing at it. I think I’m taking back some control and maybe I’m finding my power or whatever. I’m not really interested in this spiritual awakening business but i’m trying to put something else in my thoughts so that I don’t revert to the spiral of finding myself or god or something magical within me. I think he listens to me when I pray. I think prayer is real and maybe that’s just because I’m saying it. It’s interesting how beliefs and thoughts intertwine and come about. What puts one over another? I believe that the world is beautiful and everybody is good because that’s what I want to think. Excessive optimism is probably covering up fear and hate but deep down I do not feel that way. But on the surface I do. Sometimes it’s switched.